My First Mother’s Day Without My Mother

One of the last times I spent alone with my mom, I encouraged her to call my Aunt Nancy, her childhood best friend, who had just lost her father. I was getting dressed to go to the kids’ Christmas party, and mom sat on my bed chatting with her on my speaker phone for about an hour. Mom talked about feeling like an orphan in the world since both her parents died on the same day at Christmas in 1993.

For some reason, her words on that day stuck out to me, although I had heard her say the same thing multiple times before. Maybe it was meant for me to hear those words to prepare me for what was coming in less than two weeks. But, at the time, I only thought how sad it was that my mom had never recovered from her loss and never been able to focus on her future rather than her past.

Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what we get and are thankful it is no worse than it is. {Margaret Mitchell}

I miss my Mama a great deal and I reckon I always will. She has always been the person I called and wanted when sick, the one I went to with question about how to deal with the kids, or dumped craft projects on for their school. Mike and I were just saying yesterday that we miss watching television with her or having her eat Sunday dinners with us after church. I know I am going to miss watching Jaguar football games with her in the Fall. It is the simple things in life that matter most.

But I am also grateful for her presence. After she died, several people told me that love never dies. I do not mean to be sacrilegious; Mike says I sound like an old Catholic. But I have felt Mama around me several times since she died. Things like being called her name by strangers who did not know her, our faucets being turned on, and our televisions turning on and off alone– we joke that she is haunting us. The truth is, I like that I can still feel her spirit.

I think it helps that, unlike her, I still have my Daddy to keep me anchored. I do not feel like an orphan at all. I feel like the legacy of a rich and beautiful line of strong Southern women whose fierce vitality ring through my blood. I sensed these same women around me when I was giving birth.

So, while I am sad and mournful, I am not heart-broken on this my first Mother’s Day without my Mom. Instead of being trapped by the past, I choose to look forward, celebrating the gifts of life that God has given me, watching for those frequent looks and sounds and words in them that mimic what were once her own.

Young and Beautiful

My parents started dating in high school. My Daddy graduated in 1974 and, by the time my Mommy graduated in 1975, she was already pregnant with me.

My parents married in August 1975, at the Courthouse in Folkston, Georgia. I was born in December, on my Daddy’s 19th birthday. He wanted to name me Michelle, after him and a Beatles song . Instead, they settled on Rebecca Joel (Joelle), both Biblical names and because Joel rhymes with Noel, symbolizing my Christmas birthday. My Daddy wanted to call me Becky Jo, because he thought the girls in the television show “Petticoat Junction” were pretty.

By the time I was five, my parents were divorced, and I was devastated. I remember them fighting but I also remember numerous trips to Disney, Busch Gardens and the beach. One of my favorite memories was a surprise 4th birthday they threw me in the trailer we were living in.

I do not know if this is “normal” but I have often wondered if I was a mistake. My mom was not the warmest of mothers, and I always sort of had the feeling that she thought I ruined her life. That and the fact that she often reminded me that I act and look like my Daddy, a man she divorced.

This year, my Daddy came and spent the night with us on what would have been my Mom’s birthday. We were all talking about her and he told me a story I had never heard before, about the first time they kissed. He said my Mom was beautiful, and they were driving around and ended up by the Callahan Fairgrounds when an Elton John song came on. The song was pretty and romantic, and so my Daddy leaned in and kissed her. Hearing him talk about her like that in such vivid detail made me cry.

He also told me I was likely conceived in the back of his car, a Montego. It sounds gross, but it was actually a funny conversation. The amazing thing is that in the tin of pictures my Mom put aside for me this past summer, there were a ton of her and my Daddy that she had kept all these years, many of which I had never seen. One of them was of my Daddy and that car!

There is something wonderful and peaceful about thinking about my parents as they were when they were young and beautiful and in love. Somehow I think my Mom’s spirit is this vibrant right now in heaven.

Miss Julia’s Ice Cream Social {Part 2}

Prepare yourself for a photo dump full of cuteness!

We actually started the party with finger foods from Chick-Fil-A, then moved on to the cake. Miss Julia was having sinus issues and was not feeling her best, but she had a good time and was glad to see all of her friends.

Mason got to invite a few of his buddies from his Shark class, and our friends, the Rubins, came too.

The older kids especially liked listening to the story-teller.

Of course, Mason and Julia both loved seeing Miss Kaitlin. She spoiled them again– Mason got a bag full of fun balls to play with this summer and Miss Julia got butterfly wings, a wand, and headpiece. She also got a basket full of other princess goodies.

Miss Julia’s friends were so sweet to her. She received a La-La-Loopsie doll, lots of pretty clothes and PJs, a Cinderella play set, a Dora slip-n-slide, a Doc McStuffins dress up set, a light-up pillow, a floor puzzle, books, a beautiful hop-scotch rug, and a monogrammed pink bag. She’s a very lucky girl! On top of that, our family sent her lots of money for her piggy bank.

We had a beautiful party and lovely weekend, but we still missed my mama. I cried discreetly on our way home as the babies slept in the backseat of the car. And, before falling asleep on Saturday night, the last thing Miss Julia said was that she missed her Meme.

As author Charles Martin recently wrote about the death of his grandfather, “These are tender days.”

Lofty Pursuits {A Review}

Lofty Pursuits is a locally owned ice cream parlor in Market Square in Tallahassee. About a month ago, I reserved their party room for Miss Julia’s third birthday. I also booked their age-appropriate story-teller and ordered balloon in house. They allow you to bring your own food in, which is great, and then add the ice cream and/or candy.

From a planning stand-point, their room was small but I liked that, because it is easier to contain toddlers. I was disappointed, though, in the over-all customer service. I got to the shop thirty minutes early to decorate and found that I also had to set up my own chairs. They only had one of the two balloon arrangements made and it was droopy, so the employee nicely replaced a couple of the smaller balloons for me while starting on the second arrangement (which he did not seem to know I had requested and paid for). Not once did an employee even ask if I needed help setting up the room.

As the party time approached, I noticed that the story-teller had also not arrived. I asked the same employee who had blown up the balloons when I could expect her and he told me frankly that he had no idea. That was that! This really annoyed me, because I had come by earlier in the week after work specifically to confirm that everything was all ready for the party.

At about 2:15, with a room full of excited toddlers to entertain, I had to go back out and find the same employee to inquire about the story-teller. He called her and found that at some point she had been told the party was at 2:30. Oops!

The story-teller was great, but she seemed a little surprised that I had already given the kids their cupcakes. I am not sure what she expected since she showed up over 20 minutes after the party started? Her half-hour session was cut short in about 15 minutes.

I was also a little surprised that the employees did not serve us our ice cream. That was the impression I got when I spoke to a sweet employee who convinced me to book the party. When I was setting up, I even asked balloon boy how the ice cream service would work and he mentioned something about us writing down our orders. However, after the party had started, he brought in a stack of coupons and told me I’d have to send my guests through the line. I’m still not sure if this is their usual practice and I misunderstood, or if this was just easier for them because it was a rainy Saturday and they were busy. Either way, I was not happy, but the kids were thrilled with their ice cream.

Finally, I was disappointed to have to haggle over my bill. Balloon boy was nice but it took him going to the back office (where I heard loud voices) to have the charge for the story-teller reduced. Also, I was angered to have to pay 18-percent gratuity. I fully expect to pay it for large group service and do not mind; however, as I pointed out to him, we were not served at all. In fact, at least twice during the party two employees cut through our room to go to the back of the store and not one of them asked if we needed any help.

The party was great, and the kids had fun; but, in hindsight, for the money, I would definitely book my party elsewhere.

Miss Julia’s Ice Cream Social {Part 1}

My babies love ice cream, so I decided to host Miss Julia’s third birthday party at Lofty Pursuits, which is conveniently located in Market Square in Tallahassee.

I ordered these invitations from Minted.com. I love how they turned out, and the paper quality and customer service were top-notch.

I borrowed ideas from Pinterest and ordered ice cream containers, pink taffy and old-fashioned ice cream stickers from Amazon. I then used FREE adorable printables from One Charming Party to decorate the containers to give as thank-you gifts.

I ordered the cake and cupcakes from Tupelo’s Bakery here in Monticello. Kim, the owner, makes the most moist, delicious cakes, and the icing is fabulous. I never have a party without ordering from her.

We had the honor of hosting about 14 of Miss Julia’s friends for her ice cream social featuring Chick-Fil-A finger foods, cake and cupcakes, and, of course, sundaes! Thank goodness, Miss Kaitlin was there to help me entertain.

Miss Julia’s 3rd Birthday {Part 2}

On Friday night, Daddy brought home a small pink cake from Publix and let Miss Julia pick whatever she wanted for her birthday dinner. A good Italian, she chose “pizza-pie.”

We stayed in and enjoyed our supper while watching Miss Julia’s favorite movie, Cinderella.

Afterwards, her “Masie” helped her blow out the candles on her cake.

Miss Julia coughed all night, so Daddy and I stayed up with her. The only thing that saved the day on Saturday was a surprise visit from Granddaddy bearing birthday gifts in addition to the card and money he had already mailed.

He bought Mason a new board game and gave Jules a La-La-Loopsie (no idea if that is right) doll and a guitar with a microphone. The kids then decided to put on a concert for us, singing their favorite country songs. We have not laughed that hard in a long time!

We all went over to Granddaddy’s big truck to tell him bye, and Mason was thrilled to get to climb inside. The highlight of his day was actually getting to crank it, too. Because that is what 4 year-olds do, he later explained.

Miss Julia’s 3rd Birthday {Part 1}

We had a great weekend with our precious angel, even though the rain and pollen had her not feeling all that well.

On Friday morning, her actual birthday, we woke her up with a princess hat, balloons, and one of her gifts.

She loves her new pink, sparkly TOMS!

Afterwards, Miss Julia put on her new birthday dress sent from Aunt Angie and Uncle Travis.

Poppy dropped by and surprised her with birthday cupcakes from Tupelo’s Bakery.

We then sent her off to school armed with strawberry cupcakes made by Daddy and me, so that she could celebrate her birthday with her friends.

Miss Julia is Turning Three

Time is flying! My baby girl will be three tomorrow, and I am an emotional wreck. I still cannot believe that God blessed me with this beautiful, strong-willed spirit, who already Praises Jesus with all her heart.

Miss Julia was born. This photo is priceless now.

Miss Julia is dedicated at church on Father’s Day. Thank you, Miss Susie, for this photo. It is one of my favorites.

Miss Julia’s 1st birthday photo shoot by Tammy Rabon Photography

Miss Julia’s 1st birthday. I still love the theme “Girls and Pearls” and the party was beautiful. I just wish my in-laws would have behaved.

Miss Julia’s 2nd birthday was at the American Girl store in Atlanta.

Miss Julia’s life verse: Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love.” ~Jeremiah 31:3

Girls in Pearls {Miss Julia's First Birthday}

Reblogged from Magnolia Blossom's Blog:

Okay, I will admit it.  I began planning Miss Julia's 1st birthday party even before she was born.  I love having a little girl.  Then, while we were having her newborn baby pictures taken in our local park located on Pearl Street, a beautiful oak lined avenue full of Victorian houses, I decided instantly that we would have her party there under the gazebo. 

Read more… 151 more words

Thinking back on Miss Julia's three years!

Mother’s Day Wish List

Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and I thought I would create a wish list to help Dads out there {hint hint} with shopping ideas.

I have been meaning to do this for a while, but have never gotten around to it. I’d like to have the babies’ Baptismal gown preserved in a nice shadow box that I can hang some place special. I found the following picture on Pinterest.

Moms can always use a nice massage. I do not think I have had one since we were married nine years ago. I’d personally like to try Metta Day Spa in Thomasville.

Since my mom’s death, I have run low on stationary. I am really liking the “Wreath in Green” on Minted.com.

Mike bought me a new laptop for Christmas. I really need a nice case or bag for it. I’m not sure what a “sleeve” is, but this one from thepreppytechie.com is adorable!

New lingerie, pajamas, and workout clothes for summer would be lovely. I really like to take hot bubble baths, and my favorite product to use is Deep Steep’s lavender chamomile. I originally found it locally at Lavish in Thomasville, but it can be found on Amazon, as well.

Speaking of shopping locally, I would love a Coton-Colors cookie jar to go with my plate. I have so much fun changing the “Happy Everything” attachments!

I could use a new television in my bedroom, too. I bought the one in there now when I graduated from college in 1998. It is so blurry that I thought I was going blind last year. Thankfully, a check-up proved otherwise.

Finally, I am looking forward to a break from work so that I can take time for myself and mourn my mother. Any mom could use a night or two away, though. Hotel Duval, Best Western, Hampton Inn— The point is, a “stay-cation” sounds beautiful to me. Just imagine the bliss of a cozy, quiet hotel room with complete control over the remote, unlimited hot water in the shower, and possible room service!