Like every other mom, my life is busy. Really busy. Although I work a job with shorter hours and more time off (teaching is such a blessing), I do other extra things that add to my time. I am exhausted. And I feel bad for being exhausted, because, to me, it means laziness, which I am most definitely not.
Mock Trial * March of Dimes * Music Academy * Psychology Club * Ballet * Soccer * T-Ball * Teacher Leadership Training
I talked to two of my best friends recently, neither of whom have kids. One works full time, one does not. Bless them, I casually described what was going on in my life, not wanting sympathy, and they both got silent. Angie said, “You need a vacation away from everything and everybody,” and Tanya said, “I’m tired just thinking of all of that.” I don’t know if they meant it, but it made me take a step back and feel a little better about the fact that maybe I am doing enough. Truly, maybe I am doing too much. I even had to turn another friend’s offer down for a weekend trip.
I saw a church sign recently which said something along the lines of if you are too busy for God, then you are too busy. I will be honest, most Sunday mornings, I am focusing on that day of rest, rather than joining our church family for worship.
I feel out of balance and uninspired, frankly. It seems so long since I have been truly happy, when I know it was actually prior to my Mom’s death.
I saw this post today by Erin over at Blue-Eyed Bride, and it made be think about what fires me up and motivates me. I need some energizing about now. Here is what I came up with.
Spending Time With God (I Need More of This!)
Time at the Beach
Individual “Dates” with My Kids
Breakfast in Bed and a Good Book
Long Date Night Dinners
Nice Walks Outdoors
Weekend Get-Aways to New Places
Family Movie Nights
Strolls in Downtown Thomasville
Planning Holiday Fun
It has been so long since I have relaxed and truly let go of things. Everything reminds me of my Mom, then I cry. I am afraid that If I let go, I will somehow forget her or dishonor her memory. It is quite pathetic, actually.
So my prayer going into Easter week, which also happens to be her birthday, is to focus on Jesus. I pray for healing and for balance. I pray for an end to this season of weeping and mourning.
I pray to my Savior that it is my time to laugh and to dance. Amen.